Dear Katie: What do I do when they think they're ready for a promo, but they're not?
A 4-step conversation flow to address gaps in performance perceptions.
Welcome to real solutions for manager-submitted challenges.
To submit a question for the Dear Katie series, email katie@enduranceboss.com
Let’s get to it…
The Challenge
I have a question I’d love help on... Managing someone who doesn't have a good grasp of the reality of their performance vs their perception. My biggest challenge this year is managing someone who insists they're ready for a promotion and even management, but their work isn’t on par with what we expect. I've laid out expectations, but they're view of their work is somewhat ... "delusional." I've heard other managers expressing similar stories.
Ahhh…yes, you, my dear friend, are not alone. Let me offer a few ideas.
Where to start
I call this the Performance Perception Gap.
You’re on one side of the river bank, and they’re on the other. Your task is to build a bridge so there’s full alignment and understanding of where performance stands.
An honest, caring, kind, and direct conversation is in order.
Step 1: Name It
Start by naming it.
In your 1:1, when performance comes up and there’s a gap in your observation and their perception, it might sound like this:
“Let’s pause here for a moment. I wouldn’t be doing right by you if I didn’t name that it appears we have a bit of a disconnect and I want to ensure we can close the gap.
I’m hearing your eagerness and perceived readiness to move to the next level, and at the same time, there are still elements of your current role that you’re needing to grow into and master further.”
You’ve named it, now it’s time to better understand their perception.
Step 2: Get Curious
Transition into seeking to understand, without judgment, where they’re coming from and help them self-identify their growth opportunities.
Questions to leverage after pausing and naming the disconnect:
Talk me through what’s pointing you to feel ready for the next level.
What elements of your current role could still be strengthened?
Imagining a promotion happened tomorrow, what ways would you imagine you’d be challenged stepping up a level?
The key here is you’re likely going to agree with a fair amount of their assessment, providing you some common ground to leverage as you recalibrate their readiness.
Step 3: Recalibrate
It’s here you get to blend what you’ve just heard with where you see there are still expectations that have yet to be met.
It might sound like this:
“I can appreciate where you’re coming from. And you’re right, you’re seen as a natural leader within the team and your tenure and experience is valuable. I also agree with you that within your current role there’s still opportunity to strengthen how you’re managing priorities. What I’d add to that is I’d like to see more consistent execution and more regular communication.
A tendency I notice is you respond when I ask for an update, and to really be ready for a promotion, I would want to see proactive ownership of the status of things, and 100% on time deliverables.
Now that we’ve paused to more deeply dive into where you are, can you see how I was sensing a disconnect between how we each were perceiving your readiness?”
It’s yet to happen that I take this approach, and ask the above question, and they still are convinced of their readiness.
With renewed alignment, now shift the conversation to action.
Step 4: Co-Create A Plan
If you’re thinking this is where you need to set expectations, pause.
Setting expectations isn’t enough. It doesn’t ensure understanding, buy in, and desire to meet said expectations.
Instead, create mutually understood expectations by co-creating the plan.
It might sound like this:
“Let’s revisit what it would take to reach your goals of a promotion and co-create a plan that would strengthen your readiness. We’ve identified priority management and communication as two core areas to improve.
When you’ve made progress in how you’re managing priorities and you’re delivering on all commitments, what will that look and feel like?
[Listen to their answer]
Wonderful, and imagine you raised your own bar of excellence, what would that look and feel like?
[Listen to their answer]
What are you imagining you’ll need to do to hit and exceed this bar of excellence?
[Listen to their answer]
Great, let’s capture this. How do you want to document and remember the bar you’re setting for yourself and the actions you’re going to take?
[Let them write and own the plan - also notice the “you” vs “we” language above, that’s intentional]
What role are you imagining you’d like me to play to help you get there?
[Listen to their answer]
Thank you for sharing. I’m appreciative of your willingness to look at this with me today. Sounds like you’re committing to X, Y, and Z. And my commitment to you is to… Here’s to strengthening our alignment with your development."
Summary
There’s nothing more frustrating for both an employee and a manager when performance perceptions are misaligned.
We have a basic need to know what’s expected of us and to know where we stand. And in this fast paced, hybrid work environment, it’s easier than ever for gaps in perception to form.
I’ve captured today’s script into this handy doc for you to be able to make a copy, save, and easily reference when you’re next in this situation.
I hope that was helpful, and as always, share your thoughts and follow up questions:
Interested in real-time support for your current management & leadership challenges?
Consider becoming a paid subscriber and access my live, community chat.
