Appropriate Persistence in Performance Management
How to have the conversation no one teaches us how to have.
What do you do when you have someone on your team who is inconsistent?
They seem to have a pattern: they perform, they drop, you address it, they perform, they drop, you address it.
It’s exhausting and it’s time to have a different conversation paired with appropriate persistence with your coaching.
Today I am sharing how to have that feedback conversation in a way that drives more sustainable performance and change.
The Scenario
You’ve been having what feels like Groundhog’s Day conversations with a team member. They’re a great person and well liked by the team, but dang, they seem to be fully reliant on you periodically swooping in to relight the fire under their butt.
You can’t quite figure out why they can’t (won’t?) perform consistently.
To break the Groundhog’s Day experience, your first key to success is to elevate the urgency of the conversation by naming it what it is: a cycle that needs breaking.
Your task is to make performance consistency the key feature of your message so you have mutual understanding of the topic at hand.
The Conversation
What is about to follow offers sample language for approaching this feedback conversation and appropriately holding their feet to the fire. Take note of the following:
How the conversation opens - the Headline
The feedback lives within the Observation
Coaching Mode is activated in the Ask
Appropriate persistence follows
Headline
I’m hoping to connect today on a cycle I’m noticing that is likely to get in the way of where you want to take your career. Do you have a few minutes to talk about performance consistency?
Observation
Here’s what I’m noticing, and I’m going to be curious about the extent to which you can feel and identify what I’m seeing. The cycle I’m observing goes like this…you’ll be in a slower spot, we’ll connect and chat about performance and output, you’ll have a burst of creativity and outcomes, and then performance fades back. And I’m invested in helping you to break this cycle to demonstrate more consistent performance so you can continue reaching the next levels within your role and the org.
Ask
Let me pause here. Reflecting on the last couple of months, can you identify these ups and downs I’m shining a light on?
[Listen and encourage self-reflection.]
Thinking of those times when you’re firing on all cylinders, what can you identify helps you and your production?
[Listen and remain genuinely curious, you are in coaching mode. You’re not solving it FOR them, you’re solving it WITH them.]
Now go to the other end, when you can plateau and peter out a bit. What’s at play during those times?
[Listen and help them build on their insights.]
Ok, so we’ve looked at both ends of the spectrum, the highs and the lows, now we need to play a bit of Goldilocks and find the just right. What do you want to start thinking about adjusting so you’re breaking this cycle and you’re more consistent with performance?
[Listen and encourage action identification.]
Great, and what else?
[Listen and support as they create their own action plan.]
As you get going with these actions, what support would you like from me? And at what cadence does it make sense for us to touch base on how you’re doing with these new habits?
Breaking it Down
An important point of emphasis here - if you want to increase the probability that your feedback conversation results in changed performance and behavior, you need to be the coach who is willing to be appropriately relentless.
The above example could have easily ended with the team member hearing the feedback and showing tacit agreement. That’s what most managers would do.
You’re not most managers.
Notice how many coaching questions continued within Ask. Your job is to, with care and support, push ever so slightly to challenge them, get them to make their own commitments, and then you offer support and create alignment on how you two will continue to monitor progress in this area.
The difference between good and great lies in the willingness to get uncomfortable.
Appropriately challenging your people is uncomfortable, at first, and then it becomes the spark that keeps the fire within the team going.
Watch Out for the “I don’t know”
There’s a very real possibility that you’ll hear these dreaded 3 words: “I don’t know.”
It’s a trap, don’t fall into it.
Here’s why: it moves us from coaching-mode to telling-mode.
When you take “I don’t know” at face value, you’re more likely to jump in with solutions, recommendations, and suggested next steps.
You limit their empowerment and strengthen their dependency on you.
There are 3 primary reasons they’re holding back. “I don’t know” can be code for:
I’m not confident enough in my response.
I’m afraid of what you’re going to think of my solution.
You’re going to micromanage me and tell me what to do anyway, so why bother telling you what I think?
The next time you hear “I don’t know,” try this:
1. Pause and acknowledge the challenge
“No worries. Let’s pause here for a moment, it’s fair you likely weren’t prepared to answer that question.”
2. Then, welcome their creativity
“Pretend for a moment you did have an idea for an initial next step, what might come to mind?”
3. Then, stay silent. Let them think. They’re going to say something like:
“I guess what I could do is…”
4. Jump on it…this is your chance to boost their confidence!
“Yes! I love it…now build upon it. What else is now coming to mind?”
5. Let them share and applaud their thinking.
“I like it. I trust you to get going with these next steps. I also love that you had the answers in you all along. Don’t be afraid to trust yourself.”
Summary
It takes courage to have a meaningful feedback conversation. It takes courage to be unwavering in your commitment to the development of your people.
Great coaches don’t give up on their people, nor do they let them take the easy route.
Your ability to be appropriately persistent will change the game for your people in 2026.
(If you found today’s post helpful, it’s an excerpt my book Fearless Feedback: Everything Managers Have Never Been Taught About Giving Feedback. Learn more and grab your own copy.)
As always, be human and hold a high bar,
- Katie
I’m Katie Ceccarini!
I help managers drive stronger business results through group training & coaching.
I’m also a mom, triathlete, & aspiring cowgirl who loves good martinis.
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